She said her name was "party"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
