I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
