i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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