Swine flu is the new snow day.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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