Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"