are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum