I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just said "you do you" to my penis.