she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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