I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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