I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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