tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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