i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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