She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
