You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
