Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize