I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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