Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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