thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
