we have pet lesbian snakes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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