He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
