She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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