I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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