i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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