Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sext me about skeletons
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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