need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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