You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
