the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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