Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
