Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
