My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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