I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
