Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
