I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
