normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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