If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
