i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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