Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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