He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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