So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
