this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
