Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
