Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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