I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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