Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
