Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I believe in your delicious
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
