kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
