google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
