oh god the rape fog is back!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
