I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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