do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
