Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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