p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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