Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
