Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
