oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
