Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
