I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize