final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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