My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
