We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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